Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Back in 2010, while serving as my ward's Sunday School President, I began announcing the upcoming Gospel Doctrine reading assignment by writing funny/weird/irreverent posts on the ward's Google Group. The connection to the curriculum was often highly tenuous, but I had fun writing them, and they did get at least a few people thinking about the scriptures during the week.

When I was released from that position, I moved the weekly Sunday School write-ups to this blog, where they now exist as my BASOTRUSSL posts: Blog About Something Only Tangentially Related to the Upcoming Sunday School Lesson. I've missed a few weeks here and there, but when we hit Isaiah in a few months I'll have written something about virtually all of the four-year cycle of Gospel Doctrine lessons.

In that time, my favorite thing I've written was in relation to the Old Testament prophet Daniel. It also involved the ancient patriarch Joseph, the subject of this Sunday's lesson, I proudly post it again here. Enjoy!

I have no idea what heaven is like. I can't really imagine it. When I think about it, I basically picture a lot of good people, just standing around and talking to each other.

Maybe Moses and Brigham Young like swapping tales of wilderness wandering. Maybe Nephi and Joseph Smith regale the masses with stories of their great physical strength. Maybe Abraham Lincoln and King
Benjamin give leadership seminars.

I can totally imagine Old Testament legends Daniel and Joseph engaging in a little one-upmanship like this:

Daniel: I was taken from the land of my fathers and brought into captivity in another land.

Joseph: Me too. I endured many hardships in my life, but the Lord always blessed me, and I continually rose to positions of prominence.

Daniel: Same here. I was given a new name by the king.

Joseph: As was I. What was your new name?

Daniel: Belteshazzar. You?

Joseph: Zaphnath-paaneah.

Daniel: Good luck with that.

Joseph: Well, I was once cast into a pit because my peers were jealous of me!

Daniel: Been there, done that. Except my pit had lions in it. What else ya got?

Joseph: God blessed me with the ability to interpret dreams. Doing so saved many lives, including my own!

Daniel: You're preaching to the choir. Ever hear of the stone cut without hands that filled the whole earth?

Joseph: That was you? Um...um....the story of my life was adapted into an elaborate Broadway musical, and the movie version starred Donny Osmond and that Jurassic Park guy.

Daniel: Dang! You win.

Yep, I'm sure that's exactly what heaven is like. If any of you out there are good at the whole dream interpretation thing, I had a doozy involving space monkeys, Wonder Bread and Willy Wonka a few years ago that still baffles me. Let me know.