Key Party

Let's get started, shall we?



Since I once again waited until Saturday to post this week's BASOTRUSSL, I'm sure you've all studied up on the restoration of the Priesthood in preparation for this week's Sunday School lesson, including the scripture chain on Priesthood keys. So let's just get to some more great key-related clips.

When a giant asks for your keys, you'd better give them to him.

The best scene from a Seinfeld episode that was all about keys. There have been several times in my life where I've felt like George here.

This is perhaps the most underrated song by the great Alicia Keys. It seems to be about living your life as if you're in a TV show, which I can totally support. Ms. Keys was the original Abed!

Remember when stuff like this seemed like awesome entertainment? And we were ok with dragons looking like ducks?

Great "Francis Scott Off-Key" line here from Charlie Steiner.

These aren't clips, but I love that I can use the Internet to find pictures of the cards I collected as a kid. Why did we ever stop putting faux-wood paneling on things?

More key hijinks from George Costanza. Holy cow!

This is probably the most well-known clip from Comedy Central's Key & Peele, but they have a lot of good stuff that's easy to find online.

Finally, every keymaster needs a good gatekeeper.

If I could find the clips, I would've also included the scene from Wayne's World where Garth falls on his keys, and the time Ralph Wiggum had the run of Springfield after stealing his dad's police master key. Any good ones you can think of that I missed?

The Fab Four

The State of the Union Address was just a few days ago (just long enough for the standing ovations to have finally stopped). Presidents Day is just around the corner. Lincoln will probably win a bunch of Academy Awards next week (though Bill Murray's portrayal of FDR in Hyde Park on Hudson won't). Hackers recently helped us learn of the bizarre painting skills of George W. Bush. It's all presidents, all the time lately.

Construction on Mount Rushmore began way back in 1927 (just a touch under Lincoln's patented fourscore and seven years ago). After seeing the rocky quartet represented on an episode of The Simpsons this week (pictured above), I became curious to know how the presidents on the monument were selected. According to my favorite reference source, the fantastic four were selected by the sculptor, under direction from then-President Calvin Coolidge, who "insisted that, along with [George] Washington, two Republicans and one Democrat be portrayed."

I doubt that many, then or now, would argue much that those were the four most influential commanders-in-chief up to that point (though cases could certainly be made for Adams, Madison, and Wilson). But can you imagine the hysteria that would ensue if Obama announced the creation of Mount Rushmore 2 ("Rush Harder")? The cable news network would go crazy, promoting or decrying potential sculpture subjects.

Who do you think would/should be included in this hypothetical Mount Rushmore annex, assuming another four heads would be added? I think Adams would make the cut this time, and Reagan is kind of a no-brainer--even Dems would have a hard time arguing against his inclusion. I think Clinton has earned a spot, but he's pretty controversial. There would be plenty of arguments for--but also many against--the likes of FDR, JFK, Ike, and Obama.

I love the debate spawned when the Mount Rushmore concept is expanded to other arenas. It's so exclusionary that it forces you to be super-careful in making your choices, and then to passionately defend your pick. In the past I've read others' selections for the Mount Rushmore of WWE, of rock and roll, of basketball, and more. I also just found this old, sadly shortlived blog on which the writer determined his Mount Rushmore of stand-up comedy, beer, douchebags, etc.

If there were a Rushmore of the gospel, the choice would be a bit easier. One of the first things Mormons learn about are the first principles and ordinances of the gospel, and there are four--how convenient! And wouldn't you know it--those first four (faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost) are the topic of this week's Sunday School lesson! They're all topics that you could study for years and still learn things about, but there are only a handful of verses actually assigned for this week--you can still easily read them before class on Sunday, even though I'm not posting this until late Saturday night.

Feel free to suggest some topics for other Mount Rushmores (breakfast cereal mascots? game show hosts? pizza toppings?) in the comments. If I get a few, I'd happily devote a future blog post to this.

We all scream

That, my friends, is a mountain of Ben & Jerry's. It's not a great picture, but you can probably see that there are 16 cartons and 15 varieties (we doubled up on Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream, naturally (I almost typed "natch" but restrained myself)), also known as a "Half Baskin-Robbins" (rounded down). After this photo was snapped, they were all promptly devoured by 20-25 people at a work meeting earlier this week. (They were purchased using some coupons sent to one of my colleagues who rocked a B&J's manager's world with outstanding service a few weeks ago.) (Lots of parentheticals for an opening paragraph.)

Ben & Jerry's, of course, is well-known for their creative flavor combinations, often with accompanying punny names. When it comes to joke ice cream flavors, though, I prefer to riff off of the classics, like Reverend Lovejoy did years ago. In fact, building off of the good reverend's "Commandmint" and "Bible Gum," here are some more old school flavors with a religious swirl. (Mmmm....religious swirl...)

--Rocky Road to Damascus
--Pharaoh's Cookies 'N Dream
--Butter Pecanaan
--Moose Tracting
--Nea-Paul-itan
--Elisha's Straw-bear-y
--Fudgement Day Ripple
--Captain Spumoni
--Chocolate revelation

Speaking of which...I know Groundhog Day was last week, but revelation is once again the topic of this week's Sunday School lesson. In fact, most of the assigned reading is a repeat from last week. Where last week was more focused on the "why" of personal revelation, this week is devoted to the "how." In other words, there will be a lot of talk about burning bosoms (see D&C 9:8). You know what's good for calming a burning sensation in your chest? Ice cream! But don't eat too much, too fast, or you'll get brain freeze, which inevitably leads to a "stupor of thought" (D&C 9:9). See you in class! It's sure to be a real--wait for it--ice cream Sunday!

Hoffmann of the Month: February

February's "Hoffmann of the Month" is Jack Hoffman, one of the stars of Gold Rush (formerly Gold Rush Alaska). Congratulations Jack!

I know virtually nothing about Mr. Hoffman. I know that when you type his name into a Google search, the first autofill choices are "jack hoffman mormon" and "jack hoffman religion." The bio I linked to above says Jack is active in his church, so it's possible that Jack and I share a reliogion. But I don't know for sure.

Pretty much the only other thing I know about him is that he, his colleagues and their mining operation are frequent targets of jokes on The Soup. I've embedded some clips in this post; be forewarned that they are extremely crass and sophomoric, but oh so funny. Keep 'em coming, Jack!

Am I right or am I right or am I right?

[Better late than never--here's this week's BASOTRUSSL. Today is the 5th anniversary of the funeral of Gordon B. Hinckley, former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To mark the occasion, I'm repeating the post from my old blog that I wrote about the event, with some added notes in bracketed italics. It was originally published on March 25, 2008. I'm kind of surprised all of the links I used are still active.

This week's Sunday School reading is on receiving personal revelation, something President Hinckley excelled at. There's not much time left, but you can check out the study guide to help you prepare for class.]

I'm finally back! Did you miss me? Last week the Internet service in my apartment was sporadic at best, so I wasn't able to post. I have one of the good Internets at work, but it wouldn't feel right to spend big chunks of time blogging while on the clock (plus, it would really eat into the time I spend playing minesweeper...if my boss is reading this, that was a joke. Kind of).

Chugging right along on my holiday season recap [I started my blog about two months after moving to New York, and I spent several weeks recapping how I celebrated myriad holidays in the city, from Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day to Chinese New Year, and many more], we've reached early February, which of course means Groundhog Day. It was a very subdued "celebration" for me--I spent the night at home alone, watching the traditional Bill Murray classic (I had made it known the night before to the dozens of people at Rosemary's "literary salon"--another NYC LDS singles eVite event--that I would be watching it, but nobody seemed too keen to join me). Someday I may actually make it to Punxsutawney like Kim and Ryan did [A few months later Ryan would become my roommate, and about a year after that he and Kim got married], but until then I'm content with just the movie.

As much as I love Elf, it's not nearly as good as Groundhog Day, one of my favorite movies ever. [I actually now prefer Elf. I had only seen it two or three times when this was first written.] It's great just as a comedy, but it's also highly philosophical and has plenty of "heart" (I get a little misty-eyed when Phil tries to save the old homeless man). Plus there's Ned Ryerson. Bing!

Watching the movie was more meaningful this year because of what happened earlier in the day: Pres. Hinckley's funeral. The video package they aired right after the service ended also got me slightly weepy, which likely means Feb. 2, 2008, was the most emotional day I've had in at least a dozen years (not counting times I've been sick, when it's harder to control bodily functions, I don't think I've actually cried--tears actually escaping my eyes--since elementary school).

I found the juxtaposition of the two very interesting: a fictional story of a man who is forced to live forever and eventually learns to devote his life to making others' lives better, and a true-life story of a man who seemed like he would live forever, and who always put the needs of others above his own. Both Phil Connors and Gordon B. Hinckley showed that one can be content and fulfilled when surrounded by good friends and opportunities for service, but that the greatest happiness only comes when united forever with the one you love most. This year, at least for me, Groundhog Day wasn't just a frivolous holiday, and Groundhog Day wasn't just a really smart and funny movie.