The weekly ward Sunday School email

This Sunday I'll be teaching Sunday School to a class of 80 or so people, substituting for the regular teacher. It will probably be a one-time-only thing, which is too bad, because Sunday School teacher is my favorite position that I've ever held in the LDS Church.

(I'm operating on the assumption that the vast majority of my audience is Mormon, and that an even larger percentage is Christian; if anyone reading this or other posts is confused by or has a question about words or concepts I use, please ask. My faith is an important part of my life but I don't plan to get too preachy on my blog. Keep reading and you'll see what I mean.)

Until about two months ago I was serving as my ward's Sunday School president, setting up teaching schedules, setting up chairs, ringing the bell so class would end on time, stuff like that. Ostensibly to help class members arrive prepared each Sunday but mainly to draw attention to myself, I began posting a weekly blog of sorts to the ward's Google Group that was connected somehow (often very tenuously) to the scripture block that would be discussed that week.

I got a lot of positive feedback, and have missed writing them the last little while. So I'm going to start them up again soon and post them here. We're studying the New Testament this year, and the next few lessons are about the atonement and resurrection of Christ. I'm worried about the potential of being overly sacrilegious in relation to these topics, so I'll wait until we get to the Book of Acts. In the meantime, I'll post a "classic" Sunday School email each week. This one from last December is probably the best one I wrote:

"I have no idea what heaven is like. I can't really imagine it. When I
think about it, I basically picture a lot of good people, just
standing around and talking to each other.

Maybe Moses and Brigham Young like swapping tales of wilderness
wandering. Maybe Nephi and Joseph Smith regale the masses with stories
of their great physical strength. Maybe Abraham Lincoln and King
Benjamin give leadership seminars.

I can totally imagine Old Testament legends Daniel and Joseph engaging
in a little one-upmanship like this:

Daniel: I was taken from the land of my fathers and brought into
captivity in another land.

Joseph: Me too. I endured many hardships in my life, but the Lord
always blessed me, and I continually rose to positions of prominence.

Daniel: Same here. I was given a new name by the king.

Joseph: As was I. What was your new name?

Daniel: Belteshazzar. You?

Joseph: Zaphnath-paaneah.

Daniel: Good luck with that.

Joseph: Well, I was once cast into a pit because my peers were jealous
of me!

Daniel: Been there, done that. Except my pit had lions in it. What
else ya got?

Joseph: God blessed me with the ability to interpret dreams. Doing so
saved many lives, including my own!

Daniel: You're preaching to the choir. Ever hear of the stone cut
without hands that filled the whole earth?

Joseph: That was you? Um...um....the story of my life was adapted into
an elaborate Broadway musical, and the movie version starred Donny
Osmond and that Jurassic Park guy.

Daniel: Dang! You win.

Yep, I'm sure that's exactly what heaven is like. Anyway...this week
in Gospel Doctrine we're studying Daniel's dream. There's just one
chapter to study this week (plus one Doctrine and Covenants section of
"additional reading"), which means two things: it's unlikely that
anyone has an excuse good enough to justify showing up at class
without having read the curriculum, and this one chapter must be
really, really important. So study up! Here's some things to guide
your study.

As far as I know, the Marriage and Family Relations class will be
held, but there is no Preach My Gospel class. If anyone affiliated
with those classes knows differently please let me know. Finally...if
any of you out there are good at the whole dream interpretation thing,
I had a doozy involving space monkeys, Wonder Bread and Willy Wonka a
few years ago that still baffles me. Let me know.

See you Sunday!

Jeff"