Blessed are the meek

This week's Sunday School curriculum includes the story of the Rameumptom, the tower used by a group of apostate Nephites to deliver blasphemous and arrogant prayers. It's a short scripture block, so even though this is going up on Saturday you should still have plenty of time to study up. Then, come back here and check out the videos for some of my all-time favorite boastful songs.

(Videos with a * next to them may not be appropriate for all audiences.)

WE RULE THE EARTH, The Party Posse




It's hard to find good "Simpsons" clips online. Any time I want to add one to a blog post, I usually spend 30 minutes looking for one and if I find anything it's really low quality, like the clip above. You can also watch this one, which is even lower quality but includes the boys' initial aversion to boastfulness before caving in.


U CAN'T TOUCH THIS, MC Hammer



Not as boastful as some of the other songs here, but I included it because he thanks the Lord for making him awesome, just like the Zoramites on the Rameumptom. Also, those pants.


I'M TOO SEXY, Right Said Fred



If you interviewed people "Family Feud" style and asked them what was the most boastful song of all time, I be this would be the top answer.


SEXY BOY, Shawn Michaels



Similar in content and tone to Right Said Fred. In case you can't tell from the slide show, this is the entrance theme for now-retired WWE Superstar Shawn Michaels, one of the only times a wrestler has sung his own theme song. As a high school senior, a few friends and I choreographed a routine to this song for our modern dance class.

MILKSHAKE, Kelis *



Braggadocio is not just restricted to men. Remember to watch out for the videos with a *.

(Halftime! This list is for boastful songs I like--but feel free to check out some incredibly conceited songs that I don't like, such as "Fergalicious*," "Don't Cha*," and "We Are The Champions" (I love Queen, but it's too overplayed). You're also welcome to suggest songs I overlooked in the comments.)


EXTRAORDINARY, Liz Phair



Does Liz Phair still release music? This is from the era when she "sold out" and lost her "indie cred" (I ought to do a post soon on why I would use quotes around phrases like that), but I enjoyed her ultra-commercial pop. Plus she's quite attractive, though I always feel a little weird thinking about that because she looks just like my friend Evelyn, who is good-looking but is also married with several children.


I KNOW I GOT SKILLZ, Shaquille O'Neal




I HATE 2 BRAG, Shaquille O'Neal




I'M OUTSTANDING, Shaquille O'Neal



Ah, the holy trinity of Shaquille O'Neal bragging. These were all included on Shaq's debut album. Several feature the legendary Def Jef, the original "Jef with one F" (take that, guy from The Bachelorette). It's impossible to choose the most ridiculous lyric from this collection, but for now I'll go with "Yo it's 1993, I mean nineteen-ninety-Shaq, whatever year it is, the Shaq will never slack." Amazing.


YOU'RE THE BEST, Joe Esposito




This is actually someone else telling Daniel-San that he's the best, but since we never see Joe Esposito I like to imagine the All-Valley Karate Tournament competitors singing this to themselves. Plus it's one of the greatest sports movie montages ever.


#1, Nelly *



I bet Nelly would wear one of those "#1 Dad" t-shirts. Unironically.


GIRLFRIEND, Avril Lavigne



One of the most viewed YouTube videos of all-time. More of a specific boast ("I'm better than your girlfriend") than a general one ("I'm better than everyone") employed by many of these songs, but I included it because I think the video is funny, and it's the only time I've been attracted to Ms. Lavigne.


THE WORLD'S GREATEST, R. Kelly



A surprisingly low-key video, considering the lyrics and especially considering R. Kelly's penchant for over-the-top weirdness.


GASTON, Gaston, Lefou and others



Perhaps the very best of the "I'm the very best" songs. Every last inch of him's covered with hair.

One last clip before I go...not a song, but one of the funniest examples of bragging, ever. See you in Sunday School!