Reality check

In a few days I will announce a new winner of the "Hoffmann of the Month" title, which as you know is the prestigious award I present monthly to a deserving Hofman, Hoffman, Hofmann, or Hoffmann. I hope that the inclusivity of this award hasn't given the wrong impression. While I welcome all variant spellings under the umbrella of my surname, that is not the case for my first name.

I bring this up because some guy named Jef Holm was the last man standing on the most recent season of The Bachelorette. There's a lot of overlap between the two of us--both Mormon guys from Utah, many of the same letters in the same order in our first and last names, and we both are the most desirable bachelor in pretty much any group of fellas.

But spelling Jeff with one F? Come on. I can't imagine his parents named him that, or taught him to spell it that way when he was a kid. No, I'm sure his name is Jeff or Jeffery, but spelling his name with one F is part of his carefully crafted image, just like his hair or his skateboard arrival on the Bachelorette premiere.



Still, I'm glad he won. Because that makes him a celebrity. And Mormons LOVE talking about Mormon celebrities. We love to say "That guy's a Mormon," or "I heard so-and-so is a Mormon." Whether or not they practice the religion is irrelevant in these kinds of discussions, other than as a detail to add to the conversation: "she was raised as a Mormon, but I hear she's pretty anti now." Stuff like that.

Because there weren't that many "big name" LDS celebrities (although there's more than you think; I love that that slideshow links more than once to this Daily Universe article--the date, topic, and writing style indicate that the DU must have been trying to find the next Eric Snider), us Mormons used to have to make up stuff, like the tall tales of Steve Martin wearing a CTR ring on Letterman, Yoda being based on Spencer W. Kimball, or candid airplane conversations with Mick Jagger. But now, thanks to reality TV, there's a slew of new Mormon celebs.

The trailblazer in this genre, of course, was Julie Stoffer, whose stint on The Real World got her kicked out of BYU but earned her a permanent spot in LDS folklore. Since then, Mormons seem to have taken a disproportionate number of spots in TV competition shows. (I'm not talking about game shows, though our clean-cut image and ability to be super enthusiastic without the aid of alcohol makes us a natural fit there, too. As a resident of Murray, Utah, who became the greatest Jeopardy! contestant ever, Ken Jennings stole my dream life way more than Jef Holm did.)

My favorite reality show, So You Think You Can Dance, was won by a Mormon (Benji Schwimmer) in season 2 (again, their current church status rarely stops me and most Mormons from claiming them as "our" celebrities), and in season 3 the winner was a Utahn (though not LDS, I'm pretty sure) and Benji's sister was a finalist. In nine seasons there have probably been at least a dozen Mormons who have made it to the voting rounds, including a couple in the current season.

The most watched reality shows are often well-stocked with Mormons. Dancing With the Stars has featured tons of Mormon professionals, including a few who came over from SYTYCD. The show's contestants have included the world's best-known Mormon celebs, Donny and Marie Osmond. Survivor has crowned one Mormon winner (Todd Herzog), one Mormon runner-up (Neleh "Oh my heck" Dennis), and one really annoying girl I had classes with at BYU (Ashlee Ashby). A bunch of Mormons have graced the American Idol stage, most notably David Archuleta. Over the years, Mormons have peppered the cast of The Voice, the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, Amazing race, and more.

Speaking of pepper...I don't watch The Biggest Loser or any of those cooking reality shows, but knowing my church's affinity for refreshments, I'm confident Mormons have made their presence felt on those shows as well.

Clearly, many Mormons (myself certainly included) are quite passionate about identifying celebrities amongst our ranks. This is interesting, because perhaps the strongest Mormon connection made by Jeff-with-one-F on The Bachelorette this season came when he advised that he and Emily the Bachelorette bridle their passions. As many have pointed out, Jef was paraphrasing Alma's counsel to his son Shiblon, which as luck would have it is featured in the scripture block for this week's Sunday School lesson! I'm posting this late Saturday night, so it's unlikely anyone will have time to read these chapters before class, but you should all study them. Some really good stuff there.

Anyway, Jef, thanks for giving me a good news peg for this week's post. And thanks for setting a pretty good example to America, seeing as how you're our current big Mormon reality star. Just add another friggin' F to the end of your name, and I'll be your biggest fan.