Faith Promoting Rumors

Below is an excerpt from one of the Sunday School announcements I used to post on my YSA Ward's Google Group (the genesis of these BASOTRUSSL blog posts), originally written in March 2011:

"To believe in LDS theology, or even just Christianity in general, one has to accept as fact some things that many outsiders find hard to swallow. Stories of miracles, visions, healings, prophecies and the like seem fantastic on the surface. But these things did and do happen, and it's amazing. 

Some Mormons, however, aren't satisfied...they like to make up stories and circulate them as the real deal. Among my favorite LDS inspirational fiction: 

--The rumor about guys getting their mission call, and the only thing in the envelope was a phone number, which was a direct line to President Hinckley's secretary. Pres. Hinckley would then issue your call, over the phone, to serve a three-year proselyting mission in China. 

--The quote, attributed to dozens of apostles, about the residents of the spirit world bowing in our presence when they heard we lived during the days of [insert name of current prophet]. 

--Steve Martin was baptized. 

--Soon Sunday School will be eliminated, and the Sunday time block will be just two hours. 

--Sting once dated a Mormon woman, and ended up releasing an album of pop covers of Primary songs (the album is actually by EFY soundtrack mainstay Brett Raymond). 

--Yoda was based on President Kimball.

--Anything involving the Three Nephites (especially when they provide roadside assistance)."

I then made my typically loose association to the scripture block that would be covered in class (obviously not the same one that we'll be studying this week; more on that in a bit), and invited the group to reply with their favorite faith-promoting rumors. Within minutes, about a dozen replies came in, all from guys, including:

"Don't forget that the Three Nephites always ride snowmobiles."

"Bono wants to be buried with the BOM. Oh and U2's song, 'Where the Streets Have No Name' is totally about Salt Lake City. You know, 4500 S 1300 E. No names. Hmmm?"

"I love the following rumors:

 

-The Salt Lake Temple will be closed down for two years for a construction project to make it earthquake safe.

 

-The woman/man that was baptized later in life received a patriarchal blessing and was told that they would have received the gospel earlier in life if only the missionary destined to baptize them had gone on a mission."

"My favorite, but this one is true: they are going to be building a new 12 story building just to the north of the Church Office Building in the now parking lot of the Church History Library to build a building that will house all of the rumors of the church."

"I like the series that starts with:

"My friend's [insert any combination of distant relationships here] was at the church office building and got on the elevator with [insert current prophet] and asked, 'What is the most important thing we should be concerned about right now?' [Previosly Inserted Current Prophet] answered, 'Get your food storage in order.' [or whatever your
favorite religious hobby is]."

These are great cause you can use them to get people excited/worried about anything you want! Oh, the power of Mormon folklore!"

"I totally heard that BrighamYoung/DavidOMcKay/BruceRMcConkie/SpencerWKimnball said that if a man isn't married by the time he's BeenHomeAYear/Turns25/Turns28 he's a menace to society. There was a rumor in my mission that Prince was taking the discussions. The Elders had to get special permission from the Prophet to ride a boat, since Prince lives on an island. Oh, and the Gold Plates and Laban's Sword are in the cornerstone of the Salt Lake Temple." "The best can be found on my most beloved website." I don't think there was really any one-upmanship going on, just enthusiasm to share the most ridiculous examples, but the fact that the additions came so quickly and from only dudes made it pretty hilarious when my friend Amee became the first lady to chime in, with a simple one-liner: "Girls, girls. you're all pretty." Love Megamind. Great show. I welcome you all (male and female) to submit even more of your favorite faith-promoting rumors in the comments. I can't get enough of 'em. So, all of the above examples are dubious at best, but what if they were read by Nephi (the son of Nephi, who was the son of Helaman, who was the son of Helaman, who was the son of Alma, who was the son of Alma...)? Mormon says that when Nephi preached to the people, "it were not possible that they could disbelieve his words" (3 Ne. 7:18) due to his great faith. When Nephi told his friends about a random connection between Mormons and a pop star from the British Isles, it was legit. The surrounding verses indicate that, unfortunately, most of the people did not obey Nephi's teachings, but they knew what he was saying was true. They couldn't deny it. How cool is that? I also know that the teachings of Nephi and other prophets found in this week's Sunday School reading are true. I hope you'll all study them, and respond with more faith and humility than Nephi's contemporaries did. There will be no BASOTRUSSL post next week, due to General Conference, where we'll get to hear from many modern-day Nephis. I urge you to listen to, study, and apply their words as well. The men and women who will speak during the Conference will also be sharing words of truth that, if we are in tune with the Spirit, will be impossible for us to disbelieve. May we all heed their counsel. [For an irreverent take on a different passage from this week's reading, check out this post from last month.]