I got you, Abe

It's Abraha-mania this weekend! Sunday's Gospel Doctrine lesson is on the Abrahamic covenant (the next several weeks will focus on Abraham, actually); Abraham Lincoln's birthday is responsible for bank closures and mattress sales on Monday; and Saturday is the 60th birthday of Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons, including old coot Abraham Simpson, AKA "Grampa."

The three Abes have a surprising amount in common. Here's an impressive (though likely not exhaustive) list of their similarities. (I won't be sourcing the information I refer to below, but if you want scripture references, episode titles, etc., relating to any specific point, let me know in the comments.)

--All three had complex, if not outright troubled, marriages. Abraham got his wife to pretend to be his sister so Pharaoh wouldn't kill him; later that same wife encouraged him to father children with her maid, then got mad when he did. Lincoln's wife Mary Todd is well-known to have had mental health issues (though calling her "crazy," as many do, is probably unfair). Grampa's wife Mona ran away and became a fugitive from federal law when their son Homer was very young. Like the Old Testament patriarch, Grampa also fathered children with other women. Speaking of which...

--Each of the three had multiple children, but each has one son who is paid the most attention, for various reasons: Grampa's son Homer is the star of the show, and the only child he had with his wife; Lincoln had four sons, but only Robert lived into adulthood; and Abraham's son Isaac was the "chosen" one, the one through whom the aforementioned covenant would continue through.

--Governmental finances played a role in each of their lives, but in different ways: Lincoln imposed the first federal income tax, Abraham paid tithes to King Melchizedek, and Grampa has admitted that he neither earned nor needs his pension, but if one payment is missed he'll raise hell.

--Abraham had servants that were likely slaves; Grampa is the descendant of an escaped American slave; and Lincoln had strong feelings about slavery, though I can't seem to recall if he was pro or con.

--All three were military officers. Grampa actually fought in multiple branches of the Armed Forces, in both World Wars, if his stories are to be believed.

--Some details about each Abe indicate their possible sympathy with the LGBT community. There's a growing body of scholarship debating whether Lincoln was gay. Abraham once tried to convince God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah. And Grampa, a known cross-dresser (he once played in a ladies baseball league, and was a cabaret performer in Berlin--plus there may be other incidents I'm forgetting), once searched through his wallet and found a card identifying himself as the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance.

--Here's one commonality I will provide links for--LDS scriptures reveal much about Abraham's interest in astronomy; apparently Lincoln was an amateur stargazer of sorts; Grampa also felt strongly about heavenly bodies, but those feelings were negative, resulting in some pretty funny memes.

--Finally, we all likely know of the long list of (supposed) similarities between Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, but as you might have guessed--his fellow Abrahams have JFK connections too. Actually, I can't come up with anything for the ancient prophet; if anyone leaves a comment with something good, I'll give you a prize. But Grampa...not only did his son marry a Bouvier, just like Kennedy, but Grampa discovered JFK was a secret Nazi while serving with him in the Navy.

And on that pleasant note--enjoy your Abrahamic weekend!