Say my name, say my name

I've had a number of nicknames throughout my life. When I was little, my mom called me Clyde once when the home teachers were over, and for years that's what they thought my name was.

Then, when I was in kindergarten the crossing guard asked me what my name was, and I told him it was Charlie. It's one of only three times I remember acting dishonestly as a child, and I have a great memory. No idea why I did it. But, for the next two years until he retired, he called me Charlie.

In 4th grade, inspired by the Beverly Cleary character Henry Huggins, my friend Wade started calling me Jeffery Huggins, but the moniker only caught on with a few people. In a post last week, I described how I got the nickname Lurch in junior high. I also mentioned in that post that my most prominent nickname was Hoover, and David left a comment saying he wanted to hear that story, so, here we go...

(This was actually the topic of my very first "blog"--I had my own column in my high school paper, the Murray-Go-Round. It was great. In addition to nicknames, I wrote about holidays, pro wrestling, and other important topics. Once I even wrote a piece calling out all the ladies that never asked me to the girls-choice dances.)

I had an art class in 7th grade. It was extremely basic. I sat at a table with four or five other guys, and while we drew our basic shapes and then shaded them, we would talk about random stuff. I guess we ran out of topics, because one day we ended up talking about middle names. My middle name is Edward, but that must have seemed too geeky to a pre-Twilight 13-year-old, so I told them it was Ed. They immediately started calling me Mr. Ed.

A few days later, they started calling me Horse, since Mr. Ed was a horse (of course). Keep in mind that these are my friends. This continued for only a few days, because then Jeff Hyde (the other "Jeff H") made the brilliant deduction that horses have hooves, "so we should call you Hoover!"

That is the actual story. I wish it was more interesting, but it's not. It has nothing to do with J. Edgar Hoover or Herbert Hoover (though the latter was once my neighbor). Sometimes people would ask where the name came from, and to save myself time I would tell them I was called Hoover because, like the vacuums, I sucked. But the true origin is exactly as I described it above.

By the end of 7th grade, maybe a dozen people were calling me Hoover, and it gre exponentially from there. By my junior year of high school, even most of my teachers called me Hoover (or some variation, like Hoov, Hoovity, or Hooverphonic). If someone called me Jeff, it was likely they didn't know me very well.

Names (and nicknames) are important--so much so that a name change is sometimes essential. Juliet was wrong about that whole rose thing--just check out the fifth sound clip on this page, or talk to any of these put-upon folks.

This week's Sunday School reading covers just four chapters, but discusses at least three people who changed their names. There's Simon, who was "nicknamed" Peter by Jesus; Saul, soon to be known as Paul; and a woman raised from the dead by Peter, who understandably went by Tabitha instead of her real name--Dorcas. Lots of good stuff here, so make some time to study this weekend.

Finally, while we're on this subject...here's a bit of Letterman-esque fun for you all:

TOP 10 NAMES LEAST LIKELY TO BE GIVEN TO MORMON CHILDREN

10. Gog
9. Magog
8. Jezebel
7. Lilburn
6. Laman
5. Barack
4. Potiphar's Wife
3. Korihor
2. Gadianton
1. Shiz