[I've been pretty busy this week, and didn't get around to writing up a Halloween post to promote this week's Sunday School lesson. So here's the email I originally sent to my YSA ward on October 27, 2010. Enjoy!]
Many years ago, when I was a fairly new missionary in Scotland, Halloween fell on a Sunday. I had been asked to speak in sacrament meeting and was allowed to pick my own topic. I saw more than a few eyebrows raise when I began speaking about "How Halloween is Like the Atonement."
I had a couple of good ideas (on Halloween we dress up as things we aspire to be--doctors, superheroes, vampires, etc.--and the Atonement makes us better than we could be on our own; when we Trick or Treat, we are given candy without doing anything to earn it other than ask, which is eerily similar to how the grace of God works), but not nearly enough for a 10-minute talk. I'm pretty sure I even made a cringeworthy joke about (Holy) ghosts, and overall my grand idea for a memorable message turned out to be a disappointing dud.
Halloween falls on a Sunday again this year. When you come to Sunday School this week, though, you won't have to be "scared" of unprepared teachers or awkward, strained gospel comparisons. Our teachers do a
boo-tiful job. You can help them out by studying this week's curriculum.
It's our final week in the "Spook" of Isaiah, so make the most of it. Happy Halloween!
[Again, that was written last year. That link is not what we're studying this week; this is the current one. (Though it's doubtful anyone will see this post in time to do anything about it. Unless you're a week behind. Slackers.) It appears that Paul did not approve of trick-or-treating--he said "they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house...speaking things which they ought not" (1 Tim. 5:13). Leave me a comment if you find any other verses that are about Halloween when taken out of context!]
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
I'm just like Brandon Flowers
Well, not just like him. Nobody ever told me, you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend, that I had in February of last year. But (as you know if you've been on the Internet at all this week), he's a Mormon, and so am I.
As are the vast majority of the people I interact with or that view this blog. But in most of the country and the world, Mormons are a small minority, so I'm always fascinated when a show or publication or website with national or international reach says something about Mormons. For a number of reasons, it's been happening much more in the last year or so than ever before.
And I love it. Even the ones that make jokes at our expense (partly because I'm a comedy/satire junkie, and am always excited--and even feel a little honored--when people take the time to do some research to make a joke that goes beyond the stale, predictable polygamy and Osmond stuff.)
Comments about "magic underwear" bother me a little, but for the most part I enjoy all of this stuff. I'm a proponent of the "any publicity is good publicity" philosophy.
You know what? So was Paul. While getting ready for this week's Sunday School lesson, I read this in his letter to the Philippians "some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will...the one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction...but the other of love...what then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice" (Philip. 1:15-18).
Whether people say good things or bad about my church, either way it brings more attention, and more and more of those who sincerely want to know the truth about God will be inclined to investigate further. I avoid getting preachy on my blog, mainly because those types of posts would seem strange juxtaposed with all of the fluffy and inconsequential things I usually write about. But if anyone (whether it's someone I know or if you randomly came across my blog) has questions about Mormons, ask away. There are much better resources available than me, but if you leave a question I'll do my best to answer it.
My name is Jeff. I'm an amateur writer and comedian, a lover of television and dessert, and I'm a Mormon.
As are the vast majority of the people I interact with or that view this blog. But in most of the country and the world, Mormons are a small minority, so I'm always fascinated when a show or publication or website with national or international reach says something about Mormons. For a number of reasons, it's been happening much more in the last year or so than ever before.
And I love it. Even the ones that make jokes at our expense (partly because I'm a comedy/satire junkie, and am always excited--and even feel a little honored--when people take the time to do some research to make a joke that goes beyond the stale, predictable polygamy and Osmond stuff.)
Comments about "magic underwear" bother me a little, but for the most part I enjoy all of this stuff. I'm a proponent of the "any publicity is good publicity" philosophy.
You know what? So was Paul. While getting ready for this week's Sunday School lesson, I read this in his letter to the Philippians "some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will...the one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction...but the other of love...what then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice" (Philip. 1:15-18).
Whether people say good things or bad about my church, either way it brings more attention, and more and more of those who sincerely want to know the truth about God will be inclined to investigate further. I avoid getting preachy on my blog, mainly because those types of posts would seem strange juxtaposed with all of the fluffy and inconsequential things I usually write about. But if anyone (whether it's someone I know or if you randomly came across my blog) has questions about Mormons, ask away. There are much better resources available than me, but if you leave a question I'll do my best to answer it.
My name is Jeff. I'm an amateur writer and comedian, a lover of television and dessert, and I'm a Mormon.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Everything's coming up Milhouse!
[I don't really have anything to say about this week's Sunday School lesson, but go here if you want to study what I've been studying.]
Over the last week I've had an overabundance of good fortune. The three most noteworthy events, in ascending order of importance:
1) The stalemate is over...and I won! The other night, I grabbed my TP and headed to the bathroom, and was shocked to see one there already. I opened the cupboard beneath the sink and was even more shocked by what I saw--a package with the other three rolls in it! I have no idea what finally caused my roommate to break, and I certainly won't ask him. I may be fully toilet-trained, but that doesn't mean I'm mature. I won!
2) It took almost six months, but my car is finally street-legal again. My registration expired way back in April. I failed the safety test due to a brake issue, and before I could get that fixed an engine issue had also arisen. Based on the initial estimate I received I couldn't afford to fix it, and wasn't sure I wanted to pump that kind of money into a 16-year-old car anyway.
So for months, I've been driving as little as possible, both because my car was potentially unsafe and because I didn't want a ticket. But I knew I wanted this resolved before the winter weather started, so I took it in...and the total cost ended up being more than $1000 less than I expected! I won't be surprised if it needs more work done in the next few months, but for now it's legal and seems to be running properly.
It's kind of unsettling to me that I was able to easily justify driving on expired plates for almost half a year. Vehicle registration is not really a moral issue in and of itself, but choosing to disobey a law is. But that's probably a topic for another time.
3) About this time last year, I was promoted to JetBlue's new social media team. And it was awesome. Last April, due to some attendance issues (a long, boring, and extremely frustrating set of circumstances), I was demoted back to answering phones. And it's been anything but awesome. But a few days ago, I was re-moted (copyright Jeff Hofmann, 2011), and I start back with my old team on Monday. I'll be getting a raise and doing much more enjoyable work.
So things are going pretty good for me right now. On this particular Friday, we we we truly are so excited.
Over the last week I've had an overabundance of good fortune. The three most noteworthy events, in ascending order of importance:
1) The stalemate is over...and I won! The other night, I grabbed my TP and headed to the bathroom, and was shocked to see one there already. I opened the cupboard beneath the sink and was even more shocked by what I saw--a package with the other three rolls in it! I have no idea what finally caused my roommate to break, and I certainly won't ask him. I may be fully toilet-trained, but that doesn't mean I'm mature. I won!
2) It took almost six months, but my car is finally street-legal again. My registration expired way back in April. I failed the safety test due to a brake issue, and before I could get that fixed an engine issue had also arisen. Based on the initial estimate I received I couldn't afford to fix it, and wasn't sure I wanted to pump that kind of money into a 16-year-old car anyway.
So for months, I've been driving as little as possible, both because my car was potentially unsafe and because I didn't want a ticket. But I knew I wanted this resolved before the winter weather started, so I took it in...and the total cost ended up being more than $1000 less than I expected! I won't be surprised if it needs more work done in the next few months, but for now it's legal and seems to be running properly.
It's kind of unsettling to me that I was able to easily justify driving on expired plates for almost half a year. Vehicle registration is not really a moral issue in and of itself, but choosing to disobey a law is. But that's probably a topic for another time.
3) About this time last year, I was promoted to JetBlue's new social media team. And it was awesome. Last April, due to some attendance issues (a long, boring, and extremely frustrating set of circumstances), I was demoted back to answering phones. And it's been anything but awesome. But a few days ago, I was re-moted (copyright Jeff Hofmann, 2011), and I start back with my old team on Monday. I'll be getting a raise and doing much more enjoyable work.
So things are going pretty good for me right now. On this particular Friday, we we we truly are so excited.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The happiest blog on earth
I'm a name dropper. I freely admit it. For example: you know that guy who plays Therm in those Questar commercials? I used to do improv with that jerk guy!
Now that we've established that I'm a name dropper, allow me to drop another name. Most likely you've seen this video:
Well guess what? I know that family! The mother, Katie, is the best friend of my good friend Marlene. Back in 2008 the three of us (and my friend Megan) auditioned for American Idol together, which you can read about here (you'll notice that I do some name dropping in that post as well).
In case you're the type that doesn't like clicking on links, here's a picture of Katie (and some special guests) to whet your appetite. You'll have to check the other post to get the context.
And now, the video is blowing up everywhere. On Monday the whole family appeared on Fox & Friends, and they've been on Good Morning America and pretty much every Internet site. The YouTube video is approaching 3 million views in just over a week since it was posted.
It's been fun to closely observe the progression of a truly viral Internet sensation. I'm totally on the "Lily's Disneyland Surprise" bandwagon. Because that's what I do. I'm a name dropper.
Now that we've established that I'm a name dropper, allow me to drop another name. Most likely you've seen this video:
Well guess what? I know that family! The mother, Katie, is the best friend of my good friend Marlene. Back in 2008 the three of us (and my friend Megan) auditioned for American Idol together, which you can read about here (you'll notice that I do some name dropping in that post as well).
In case you're the type that doesn't like clicking on links, here's a picture of Katie (and some special guests) to whet your appetite. You'll have to check the other post to get the context.
And now, the video is blowing up everywhere. On Monday the whole family appeared on Fox & Friends, and they've been on Good Morning America and pretty much every Internet site. The YouTube video is approaching 3 million views in just over a week since it was posted.
It's been fun to closely observe the progression of a truly viral Internet sensation. I'm totally on the "Lily's Disneyland Surprise" bandwagon. Because that's what I do. I'm a name dropper.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Barbarians at the Gate
At the beginning of the year my roommate Jason and some other friends started "MITE Night" (MITE standing for "Most Interesting Thing Ever"), an informal lecture series. Every Thursday night, somebody gives a 15-minute presentation on their MITE topic, followed by 15 minutes of Q&A.
It's a great format. Any topic probably has at least 15 minutes worth of interesting stuff to it, and we've had a number of great MITE Nights covering everything from beekeeping to masonry to puppetry.
I wanted to give a "How to Fill Out A March Madness Bracket" lecture back in March, but submitted my proposal to the MITE Night committee too late to be scheduled. Last night, I finally made my MITE Night debut. The title of my presentation:
"I am a Real American: 30 Years of Patriotism and International Relations as Portrayed by Professional Wrestling"
It's probably safe to say I didn't steal the idea from anyone who was hoping to present in the next few weeks.
Turns out I was too ambitious, though: by the time I got through Sgt. Slaughter's infamous turn as an Iraqi sympathizer during the first Gulf War, my 15 minutes was almost up. I spent too much time on the likes of Nikolai Volkoff and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and as a result I had to gloss over the snooty Canadians of the late '90s, post 9/11 anti-Muslim fervor, and the WWE's take on the immigration debate.
I did, however, make time to show a clip from this video, the awesome inspiration for my lecture's title.
One thing I knew going in I wouldn't have time to cover is the semi-related, long-running trend in pro wrestling of portraying characters as broad stereotypes based on the wrestler's country of origin (real or imagined), but in a nonpolitical way. Often, these characters are put forth as savages or simpletons, such as New Zealand's Bushwhackers, Samoa's Head Shrinkers, or Kamala the Ugandan Giant.
The man who played Kamala is actually a guy from Mississippi. Having an American pretend to be from elsewhere was a fairly common practice until the Internet came around and everyone knows the truth about stuff like that.
Wrestling promoters certainly weren't the first to assume the savagery of native tribes they encountered. This week's Sunday School chapters include a story of Paul being shipwrecked among "barbarous people" (Acts 28:2). As always, here's a link to what I've been studying to get ready for class. The word barbarian literally means foreigner, but has taken on connotations that probably make most people think of Head Shrinker-types when they hear it. Or, if you're a wrestling fan, you think of this guy.
If you were doing a MITE Night presentation, what would you give it on? What should my next topic be?
It's a great format. Any topic probably has at least 15 minutes worth of interesting stuff to it, and we've had a number of great MITE Nights covering everything from beekeeping to masonry to puppetry.
I wanted to give a "How to Fill Out A March Madness Bracket" lecture back in March, but submitted my proposal to the MITE Night committee too late to be scheduled. Last night, I finally made my MITE Night debut. The title of my presentation:
"I am a Real American: 30 Years of Patriotism and International Relations as Portrayed by Professional Wrestling"
It's probably safe to say I didn't steal the idea from anyone who was hoping to present in the next few weeks.
Turns out I was too ambitious, though: by the time I got through Sgt. Slaughter's infamous turn as an Iraqi sympathizer during the first Gulf War, my 15 minutes was almost up. I spent too much time on the likes of Nikolai Volkoff and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and as a result I had to gloss over the snooty Canadians of the late '90s, post 9/11 anti-Muslim fervor, and the WWE's take on the immigration debate.
I did, however, make time to show a clip from this video, the awesome inspiration for my lecture's title.
One thing I knew going in I wouldn't have time to cover is the semi-related, long-running trend in pro wrestling of portraying characters as broad stereotypes based on the wrestler's country of origin (real or imagined), but in a nonpolitical way. Often, these characters are put forth as savages or simpletons, such as New Zealand's Bushwhackers, Samoa's Head Shrinkers, or Kamala the Ugandan Giant.
Wrestling promoters certainly weren't the first to assume the savagery of native tribes they encountered. This week's Sunday School chapters include a story of Paul being shipwrecked among "barbarous people" (Acts 28:2). As always, here's a link to what I've been studying to get ready for class. The word barbarian literally means foreigner, but has taken on connotations that probably make most people think of Head Shrinker-types when they hear it. Or, if you're a wrestling fan, you think of this guy.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Hoffmann of the Month: October
I'm a little late in naming this month's Hoffmann, but hopefully it's been worth the wait. I was hoping Trevor Hoffman could keep his career saves record through this offseason and I could give him one final honor, but Mariano Rivera had to go and pass him at the end of the season. Damn Yankees!
But another worthy candidate emerged...the Hoffmann of the Month for October is BYU wide receiver Cody Hoffman!
Ross Apo got off to a great start this season and gets a lot of media attention, but he's had injury issues the last few games, and Hoffman seems to have emerged as the primary target for Cougar quarterbacks, both the erratic Jake Heaps and the Samsonian Riley Nelson. His touchdown catch was a big part of BYU's comeback win over Utah St. last week.
But the exploit that catapulted Cody to this prestigious honor is in the video embedded above. Against Central Florida, Hoffmann returned a kickoff for a touchdown--the first time a BYU player had done that since 1998! That was my first semester of college!
The man behind that '98 touchdown was the immortal Mike Rigell. I had a few classes with Mike (he was a fellow Comms major), and sometimes he actually showed up. He was the first person I ever saw in real life rocking the LL Cool J, one-pant-leg-rolled-up look.
Congrats Cody, and keep up the good work! Go Cougars!
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