The thing of most worth

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

Over the years I've heard many people give some variation of that line (as well as the opposite "it was meant to be," though the version with the negative verb seems to be much more common). As most of the people I know are Latter-day Saints, and an even greater majority are Christian, these statements of fate often invoke the Lord's influence: "I guess it wasn't God's will."

Here's the thing, though: I don't think our lives work that way, at least most of the time. These comments seem to be made most often regarding some big life decision--which college to attend, who to marry, where to live, etc. And since, as I stated above, it's usually the "wasn't" version that's used, the comment is frequently made after some failure or disappointment in one of these areas.

For example, I lived in New York City from 2007-2009. I was unemployed the majority of that time, and that is a bad place to have to live off of savings for an extended time. Eventually, I couldn't afford to live there any longer, and moved back to Utah and into my parents' basement, frustrated and penniless. Over my final months in New York and my first few months back in Utah, my mom told me several times that me living in New York must not have been meant to be, that Heavenly Father must have something else planned for me. I know she meant well, but I always found this a little annoying, because I was convinced (and still am) that not only would I have been happy had I been able to continue indefinitely in NYC, but that I would have been able to fulfill God's will for me there just as well as I can here.

I know for a fact that God does give guidance to those who seek it, and that many times He will make it undeniably clear which path should be taken when one is facing a tough decision. And I believe that we should seek His will to influence our choices and our lives. However, I feel that in the vast majority of situations, the choice is left up to us. I feel confident that Heavenly Father did not care whether I lived in New York, in Utah, or someplace else. He only cared that I keep His commandments.

This week's Sunday School reading contains a couple of fascinating Doctrine and Covenants sections. Let's start with Section 15, which was a revelation from Joseph Smith to John Whitmer. The section heading (unchanged in the newly released update to the LDS scriptures) states that "the message is intimately and impressively personal in that the Lord tells of what was known only to John Whitmer and Himself."

The heading is referring to verses 4 and 6: "For many times you have desired of me to know that which would be of the most worth unto you...the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people."

To have a prophet tell you something he only could've known through revelation...that's pretty cool, right? Well, if you go on and read Section 16 (a revelation directed to John Whitmer's brother Peter), you may notice something. There's no mention in the heading of anything "intimately and impressively personal," but check out verses 4 and 6:

"For many times you have desired of me to know that which would be of the most worth unto you...the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people."

Sound familiar? It should--those verses (and all six in the section, actually) are an exact, word-for-word copy of Section 15. To me, the fact that the two revelations are identical does not take away from their highly personal nature. Both brothers had a great desire to know God's will for them, to know what was the most important thing that they could do. And God told them. The answer just happened to be the same for both of them.

And I believe it's the same for the rest of us, too. The Whitmer brothers' most important work was to share the gospel, a slightly more specific instruction than that given to Hyrum Smith in D&C 11 (also part of this week's assigned Gospel Doctrine reading): "Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength" (v. 20).

As I said above, I know that God can and does guide and direct His children in very specific ways in some instances. He is all powerful, and can intervene dramatically in mortal affairs when needed. I have no idea why some like Abraham and Ammon were saved from those who wished to kill them, while others like Abinadi and the women and children of Ammonihah were not. But I believe this only strengthens the idea that whether we're dealing with life or death, happiness or sadness, success or failure--or more likely, a grab bag including all of the above--the most important thing in any situation is to keep the commandments.

In short: yes, we need to have faith in Heavenly Father's ability to guide our lives, faith enough to seek out personal revelation and follow it. But I think it's even more important that we have faith in Heavenly Father's ability to strengthen and sustain us as we strive to keep His commandments, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on this subject. Are you a proponent of the "meant to be/wasn't meant to be" philosophy? Do we all actually believe the same thing but just use different terminology? How do we strike the right balance between seeking divine guidance and exercising our agency?