Some think that Thanksgiving gets overshadowed when we start in too early with the Christmas tunes. To them I say: come up with some good Thanksgiving songs and we'll play them too. There are actually a number of good ones already out there that just haven't been coopted by the Turkey Day supporters yet. Get on it!
As a potential compromise, I'll help everyone avoid the stale Bing Crosby and Mariah Carey numbers by presenting my brand new, soon-to-be-classic Christmas song. Last year my friends Sara and Andrew bought a "personalized song parody" from me at a service auction. Sara deferred to Andrew for the details, and he told me he wanted a Christmas parody of 50 Cent's "In Da Club." I started on it, but set it aside once Christmas passed, then finally got back to work on it in late September so it could be finished for Andrew's birthday.
And now I'm sharing it with the world! It's a little tricky in parts, but here's the original if you want to try singing along. It's the story of the Nativity, told from the perspective of the wise men (with a few annotations). Without further ado, the lyrics to the new favorite carol of Thanksgiving and Christmas lovers alike...]
Go, go go, go, go, go, go Savior
It's your birthday
We're gonna party like
It's your birthday
Gonna see some smarties night of your birthday*
And you know we brought lots of gifts
'Cause it's your birthday
Chorus:
You can find him in the crib
Swaddled next to his
Mama, I get on my knees
You need to show him love
Give myrrh and frankincense to the baby that we love**
He's come from up above
He'll save each one of us
[Repeat chorus]
Camels pull up out front, see the star up above
You'd think the king of kings would get a little more pub
There ain't a lot of people that came to show him love
Just us magi and some shepherds, but I guess that's enough
The baby there in the manger
No crown, Jesus is just layin' there but there's a king here in this hut
Now Joseph and Mary had to make the journey to Bethlehem
But when they got there all they heard was there's no room at the inn
If he could, innkeeper would give them a cot
But a stable out in back, well that's the best that he's got
Then holla, an angel declares good news at the sheepfold
The shepherds hustled off to see what they had been told
Meanwhile us wise men weren't trailing far behind
We were following the star but not sure what we'd find
We went to see Herod 'cause we needed to know
The right town in the region where we needed to go
[Repeat chorus twice]
"Follow that glow to Mary and Joe
Then come back," said Herod the king
"That kid, this star, your jewels, just who'll
He be when he grows up? This sure is strange"
He's full of it, but finally we made it
Here's the lad, his goodness just can't be overstated*
Someday Matthew and Mark will chronicle his life
(That book is good, it helps you stay on the track, right)
In our dreams we was told Herod doin' you wrong
He's tellin' lies, playin' tricks
Wants this child to be gone
He's a ruthless liar, man, don't you return
Leave now and get a head start before Herod has learned
That you've betrayed him 'cause he gets violent when he's riled up
Better get the child to Egypt, it's safer by the Nile, but
Yeah we'll always remember when he was swaddled with love
C'mon, we know who he be
[Repeat chorus twice]
*I know the wise men didn't come the night Jesus was born. It's also highly unlikely that he was born on December 25. Let's not get too technical here.
**Replacing "having sex" with "frankincense" is the line I'm most proud of.
***Yeah, yeah, I know. At the beginning of the song the wise men showed up at the manger, and now they're visiting the "lad." Again, let's not overanalyze.
Wow. Just wow.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I was pretty much having the crappiest day ever and then I read this....so awesome. Now I can't stop laughing! Thanks Jeff, I miss all your awesome song parodies.
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