Two bits on a shave and a haircut

I'm currently clean shaven. Well, clean-ish. I don't have any deliberate facial hair, just some scruff from three days of being too lazy to shave. But at this time last month, I had the craziest beard I've ever had. Check it out.

And in profile...

I've only grown out my beard for longer than 10 days or so a handful of times in my life, and each of those times I kept the sides trimmed and rocked a goatee. I hate shaving, but don't usually wear a beard because it feels gross, it's hot, and in the past it often grew in patchy. This time it was much thicker and fuller and better overall than any previous beard, but I can be honest--it looks kind of gross. These pictures were taken the day before I shaved, just over 100 days' growth. I'm pretty sure this is also the longest my head hair had ever been.

The reason for this hirsuteness: Halloween, of course! Here's me posing with my roommates, looking more like Mr. Rooney from Ferris Bueller than I had hoped.

In this picture, though, with the arms folded, high hair more visible, and prominent wristwatch, it's a little more obvious that I'm dressed as the immortal Ron Swanson.

The week of Halloween, I went to two dances and to work in this get-up, and exactly one person (other than those I'd already told who I was dressing as) correctly identified my costume. This is a travesty that needs to be rectified. Everyone needs to know who Ron Swanson is. Start off by watching this clip compilation, then watch Parks and Recreation every Thursday. And then bring me all the bacon and eggs you have.