The words of moron

There's a phrase from this week's Sunday School reading that makes me giggle every time I read it. If you're even half as immature as me, you'll probably laugh too. It's from Moroni 9:7--"According to the knowledge which I have received from Amoron..."

Pretty funny, huh? What could be less valuable than knowledge received from a moron? Except, the more I think about it, that's basically what many of my weekly Blog About Something Only Tangentially Related to the Upcoming Sunday School Lesson (or BASOTRUSSL) posts are.

The BASOTRUSSLs basically fall into one of three categories. Two of the three involve me writing about something I experience or observe, and somehow connecting it to the lesson material. The first category are posts that actually make sense, and offer some type of insight into my life or the scripture block, or both. Here's a good example. And here's another and another and another. The second are the posts where the connection is extremely tenuous, the ones I wrote mainly because I'm committed to doing this every week. Check out my "share' em/Sherem" post to see what I mean.

Then there's the third category: the posts where I interpret the scriptures in a strange way, mainly for comic effect. This practice started years ago, long before I was a blogger, when I discovered humorous ways to misinterpret a few Book of Mormon passages. I wrote about these verses here and here.

I've reached new levels of borderline blasphemy in 2012. The new interpretations for scripture blocks I've conjured up this year include:

--Ancient prophets claiming the University of Utah and Ute fans are evil.

--The Hunger Games movie is based on the story of Enos.

--Parallels abound between the people of Zeniff and last spring's Jazz-Spurs playoff series (including a great zinger about Tony Parker's philandering ways).

--Christ's visit to the Americas was laced with Halloween imagery.

--Isaiah foresaw the modern day rise of eReaders and the scourge of Nicholas Sparks.

--A portion of Nephi's narrative mirrors a typical YSA ward experience--but only if you read it backward.

--Just last week, I showed how a Weezer song reveals the identity of the Three Nephites.

--Most surprising of all, Alma's discourse to the poor Zoramites is actually pro-Obama, socialist propaganda.

I am aware that men should not propagate their own private interpretations of the scriptures (see 2 Pet. 1:19-21). I cannot stress this enough--when you read my blog, all the "knowledge" you receive comes from a moron! I'm merely a jester, writing these posts for entertainment. I don't believe these interpretations, and neither should you. I will continue posting BASOTRUSSLs, but you shouldn't take much if anything of what you read here seriously.

Are we clear on this? Good. But if not, two of the next three lessons after this mention a man named Nimrod...