[I don't really have anything to say about this week's Sunday School lesson, but go here if you want to study what I've been studying.]
Over the last week I've had an overabundance of good fortune. The three most noteworthy events, in ascending order of importance:
1) The stalemate is over...and I won! The other night, I grabbed my TP and headed to the bathroom, and was shocked to see one there already. I opened the cupboard beneath the sink and was even more shocked by what I saw--a package with the other three rolls in it! I have no idea what finally caused my roommate to break, and I certainly won't ask him. I may be fully toilet-trained, but that doesn't mean I'm mature. I won!
2) It took almost six months, but my car is finally street-legal again. My registration expired way back in April. I failed the safety test due to a brake issue, and before I could get that fixed an engine issue had also arisen. Based on the initial estimate I received I couldn't afford to fix it, and wasn't sure I wanted to pump that kind of money into a 16-year-old car anyway.
So for months, I've been driving as little as possible, both because my car was potentially unsafe and because I didn't want a ticket. But I knew I wanted this resolved before the winter weather started, so I took it in...and the total cost ended up being more than $1000 less than I expected! I won't be surprised if it needs more work done in the next few months, but for now it's legal and seems to be running properly.
It's kind of unsettling to me that I was able to easily justify driving on expired plates for almost half a year. Vehicle registration is not really a moral issue in and of itself, but choosing to disobey a law is. But that's probably a topic for another time.
3) About this time last year, I was promoted to JetBlue's new social media team. And it was awesome. Last April, due to some attendance issues (a long, boring, and extremely frustrating set of circumstances), I was demoted back to answering phones. And it's been anything but awesome. But a few days ago, I was re-moted (copyright Jeff Hofmann, 2011), and I start back with my old team on Monday. I'll be getting a raise and doing much more enjoyable work.
So things are going pretty good for me right now. On this particular Friday, we we we truly are so excited.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The happiest blog on earth
I'm a name dropper. I freely admit it. For example: you know that guy who plays Therm in those Questar commercials? I used to do improv with that jerk guy!
Now that we've established that I'm a name dropper, allow me to drop another name. Most likely you've seen this video:
Well guess what? I know that family! The mother, Katie, is the best friend of my good friend Marlene. Back in 2008 the three of us (and my friend Megan) auditioned for American Idol together, which you can read about here (you'll notice that I do some name dropping in that post as well).
In case you're the type that doesn't like clicking on links, here's a picture of Katie (and some special guests) to whet your appetite. You'll have to check the other post to get the context.
And now, the video is blowing up everywhere. On Monday the whole family appeared on Fox & Friends, and they've been on Good Morning America and pretty much every Internet site. The YouTube video is approaching 3 million views in just over a week since it was posted.
It's been fun to closely observe the progression of a truly viral Internet sensation. I'm totally on the "Lily's Disneyland Surprise" bandwagon. Because that's what I do. I'm a name dropper.
Now that we've established that I'm a name dropper, allow me to drop another name. Most likely you've seen this video:
Well guess what? I know that family! The mother, Katie, is the best friend of my good friend Marlene. Back in 2008 the three of us (and my friend Megan) auditioned for American Idol together, which you can read about here (you'll notice that I do some name dropping in that post as well).
In case you're the type that doesn't like clicking on links, here's a picture of Katie (and some special guests) to whet your appetite. You'll have to check the other post to get the context.
And now, the video is blowing up everywhere. On Monday the whole family appeared on Fox & Friends, and they've been on Good Morning America and pretty much every Internet site. The YouTube video is approaching 3 million views in just over a week since it was posted.
It's been fun to closely observe the progression of a truly viral Internet sensation. I'm totally on the "Lily's Disneyland Surprise" bandwagon. Because that's what I do. I'm a name dropper.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Barbarians at the Gate
At the beginning of the year my roommate Jason and some other friends started "MITE Night" (MITE standing for "Most Interesting Thing Ever"), an informal lecture series. Every Thursday night, somebody gives a 15-minute presentation on their MITE topic, followed by 15 minutes of Q&A.
It's a great format. Any topic probably has at least 15 minutes worth of interesting stuff to it, and we've had a number of great MITE Nights covering everything from beekeeping to masonry to puppetry.
I wanted to give a "How to Fill Out A March Madness Bracket" lecture back in March, but submitted my proposal to the MITE Night committee too late to be scheduled. Last night, I finally made my MITE Night debut. The title of my presentation:
"I am a Real American: 30 Years of Patriotism and International Relations as Portrayed by Professional Wrestling"
It's probably safe to say I didn't steal the idea from anyone who was hoping to present in the next few weeks.
Turns out I was too ambitious, though: by the time I got through Sgt. Slaughter's infamous turn as an Iraqi sympathizer during the first Gulf War, my 15 minutes was almost up. I spent too much time on the likes of Nikolai Volkoff and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and as a result I had to gloss over the snooty Canadians of the late '90s, post 9/11 anti-Muslim fervor, and the WWE's take on the immigration debate.
I did, however, make time to show a clip from this video, the awesome inspiration for my lecture's title.
One thing I knew going in I wouldn't have time to cover is the semi-related, long-running trend in pro wrestling of portraying characters as broad stereotypes based on the wrestler's country of origin (real or imagined), but in a nonpolitical way. Often, these characters are put forth as savages or simpletons, such as New Zealand's Bushwhackers, Samoa's Head Shrinkers, or Kamala the Ugandan Giant.
The man who played Kamala is actually a guy from Mississippi. Having an American pretend to be from elsewhere was a fairly common practice until the Internet came around and everyone knows the truth about stuff like that.
Wrestling promoters certainly weren't the first to assume the savagery of native tribes they encountered. This week's Sunday School chapters include a story of Paul being shipwrecked among "barbarous people" (Acts 28:2). As always, here's a link to what I've been studying to get ready for class. The word barbarian literally means foreigner, but has taken on connotations that probably make most people think of Head Shrinker-types when they hear it. Or, if you're a wrestling fan, you think of this guy.
If you were doing a MITE Night presentation, what would you give it on? What should my next topic be?
It's a great format. Any topic probably has at least 15 minutes worth of interesting stuff to it, and we've had a number of great MITE Nights covering everything from beekeeping to masonry to puppetry.
I wanted to give a "How to Fill Out A March Madness Bracket" lecture back in March, but submitted my proposal to the MITE Night committee too late to be scheduled. Last night, I finally made my MITE Night debut. The title of my presentation:
"I am a Real American: 30 Years of Patriotism and International Relations as Portrayed by Professional Wrestling"
It's probably safe to say I didn't steal the idea from anyone who was hoping to present in the next few weeks.
Turns out I was too ambitious, though: by the time I got through Sgt. Slaughter's infamous turn as an Iraqi sympathizer during the first Gulf War, my 15 minutes was almost up. I spent too much time on the likes of Nikolai Volkoff and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and as a result I had to gloss over the snooty Canadians of the late '90s, post 9/11 anti-Muslim fervor, and the WWE's take on the immigration debate.
I did, however, make time to show a clip from this video, the awesome inspiration for my lecture's title.
One thing I knew going in I wouldn't have time to cover is the semi-related, long-running trend in pro wrestling of portraying characters as broad stereotypes based on the wrestler's country of origin (real or imagined), but in a nonpolitical way. Often, these characters are put forth as savages or simpletons, such as New Zealand's Bushwhackers, Samoa's Head Shrinkers, or Kamala the Ugandan Giant.
Wrestling promoters certainly weren't the first to assume the savagery of native tribes they encountered. This week's Sunday School chapters include a story of Paul being shipwrecked among "barbarous people" (Acts 28:2). As always, here's a link to what I've been studying to get ready for class. The word barbarian literally means foreigner, but has taken on connotations that probably make most people think of Head Shrinker-types when they hear it. Or, if you're a wrestling fan, you think of this guy.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Hoffmann of the Month: October
I'm a little late in naming this month's Hoffmann, but hopefully it's been worth the wait. I was hoping Trevor Hoffman could keep his career saves record through this offseason and I could give him one final honor, but Mariano Rivera had to go and pass him at the end of the season. Damn Yankees!
But another worthy candidate emerged...the Hoffmann of the Month for October is BYU wide receiver Cody Hoffman!
Ross Apo got off to a great start this season and gets a lot of media attention, but he's had injury issues the last few games, and Hoffman seems to have emerged as the primary target for Cougar quarterbacks, both the erratic Jake Heaps and the Samsonian Riley Nelson. His touchdown catch was a big part of BYU's comeback win over Utah St. last week.
But the exploit that catapulted Cody to this prestigious honor is in the video embedded above. Against Central Florida, Hoffmann returned a kickoff for a touchdown--the first time a BYU player had done that since 1998! That was my first semester of college!
The man behind that '98 touchdown was the immortal Mike Rigell. I had a few classes with Mike (he was a fellow Comms major), and sometimes he actually showed up. He was the first person I ever saw in real life rocking the LL Cool J, one-pant-leg-rolled-up look.
Congrats Cody, and keep up the good work! Go Cougars!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A disarming performance
So, the Primary (Mormon organization for children) in my ward has built a time machine. It's basically some big pieces of cardboard, painted black with glittery swirls, and a door cut out of it. But still--a time machine! And once a month they have someone emerge from the time machine, pretending to be an ancient prophet, and give a memorable presentation to the kids.
Last Sunday, it was my turn, and I got a good one: Ammon! I wore my kilt and a He-Man chest t-shirt. I'm too fat for both items, so after my performance I changed out of my costume right away, and didn't get any pictures of my prophetic mantle. But just imagine me in my kilt:
I know, I know, the Lamanites had dark skin...but having arms at all was pretty impressive, I think. (The arms belong to my friend Julia, who got them as a white elephant gift last Christmas and thankfully kept them.) I had my glasses off (sure, Ammon somehow has a time machine, but that doesn't mean he has other post-75 BC technology), so I couldn't see all the kids' faces clearly, but the many "ewwww"s I heard let me know I had done a great job.
It felt good to perform again, even just in a capacity like this, and who knows--maybe it will lead to a similar career to the only person I saw portray Ammon as a child?
I think it's pretty cool that the Primary leaders built a time machine, but it's even cooler that we don't need a time machine to hear a prophet speak in person. This weekend is General Conference, which means there's no Sunday School class, which means there's no Sunday School reading assignment. Instead I recommend this short article to help you prepare for Conference.
I especially like President Uchtdorf's second point: don't discount a message merely because it sounds familiar. I think a lot of people expect huge announcements and proclamations to be made every six months, forgetting that General Conference talks are sermons, not press conferences. Also, I think a lot of people get a little myopic when it comes to the topics of those sermons. You may feel that a certain principle is being overemphasized, but chances are, you haven't mastered it as well as you think you have, and even if you have...there are likely thousands (if not millions) of other listeners that need help in that area.
Enjoy General Conference, and I'll be back next week with another Sunday School preview. If you have your own time machine, and you've already visited next week, try to act surprised when the new post goes up.
Last Sunday, it was my turn, and I got a good one: Ammon! I wore my kilt and a He-Man chest t-shirt. I'm too fat for both items, so after my performance I changed out of my costume right away, and didn't get any pictures of my prophetic mantle. But just imagine me in my kilt:
With a shirt like this (only if two or three guys that size were trying to fit into the same shirt).
I told the kids about my mission to the Lamanites, and I think they were impressed, but they really "began to be astonished" when I pulled these babies out of my sack.
I know, I know, the Lamanites had dark skin...but having arms at all was pretty impressive, I think. (The arms belong to my friend Julia, who got them as a white elephant gift last Christmas and thankfully kept them.) I had my glasses off (sure, Ammon somehow has a time machine, but that doesn't mean he has other post-75 BC technology), so I couldn't see all the kids' faces clearly, but the many "ewwww"s I heard let me know I had done a great job.
It felt good to perform again, even just in a capacity like this, and who knows--maybe it will lead to a similar career to the only person I saw portray Ammon as a child?
I think it's pretty cool that the Primary leaders built a time machine, but it's even cooler that we don't need a time machine to hear a prophet speak in person. This weekend is General Conference, which means there's no Sunday School class, which means there's no Sunday School reading assignment. Instead I recommend this short article to help you prepare for Conference.
I especially like President Uchtdorf's second point: don't discount a message merely because it sounds familiar. I think a lot of people expect huge announcements and proclamations to be made every six months, forgetting that General Conference talks are sermons, not press conferences. Also, I think a lot of people get a little myopic when it comes to the topics of those sermons. You may feel that a certain principle is being overemphasized, but chances are, you haven't mastered it as well as you think you have, and even if you have...there are likely thousands (if not millions) of other listeners that need help in that area.
Enjoy General Conference, and I'll be back next week with another Sunday School preview. If you have your own time machine, and you've already visited next week, try to act surprised when the new post goes up.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Filtered memories
In my last post I mentioned seeing the band Filter embarrass themselves in a Glasgow kilt shop over a decade ago. The time has now come to share that story with the world.
Actually, there's something that has to be done before the time can come...you need to read this post from my old blog to get some background on my missionary companion at that time, Elder McInelly (plus it's a really funny post). Go ahead, I'll wait.
Finished? Great. Ok, here's the story: McInelly and I headed into Glasgow so he could shop for a kilt, because his parents wanted him to get one. He never would've made that decision on his own. Since they weren't there with us to help him choose, he struggled mightily while we were in the store. McInelly was SOOOOOO indecisive. We were there for over two hours (seriously), and he didn't even buy a kilt! He ended up purchasing two semi-expensive blankets, I think mainly because he would've felt guilty being in the store that long without buying anything.
I was bored after about 15 minutes, but luckily at about the 90 minute mark I finally got some entertainment. A group of four Americans, two men and two women, entered the store. (I could tell they were Americans because they spoke very loudly, which allowed me to hear their accents, plus that's what Americans do.) They were in the shop for about 20 minutes, and spent most of that time looking at tacky souvenir items.
The entertainment came when one of the women started looking at kilt belts, and called out to one of the men, "this would look great with your pants." She said it loudly, several times. When Brits say "pants," they are, of course, referring to underwear. The woman should've said "trousers" (actually, I shouldn't assume--maybe the guy likes to accessorize his undies).
I even saw a couple of the store clerks trying to stifle chuckles while this was going on, but they managed to keep a straight face while ringing up their purchases (yes, they completed their shopping before McInelly, even though he had a head start of more than an hour). Probably wise not to insult someone who's about to give you several hundred pounds.
"So are you folks here on vacation?" one of them asked.
"No, we're in a band. Have you ever heard of Filter? We're playing down the street tonight at The Garage."
And that was it. They left the store, and mercifully, we did too a few minutes later. It turns out that story is much more enjoyable to tell (and probably to hear) if I don't give away the ending before I even start. Oh well.
Hey, did you know Filter still tours and stuff? I love the pretentiousness of this description of their most recent album. That's from their official website.
One more thing...I chose to write about this now, because I figured I could relate Filter's song "You Are Gods" to the passages from this week's Sunday School reading on man's status in comparison to God and angels (Hebrews 1-2)...except it seems that song may not exist!
Can anyone help me here? I could have sworn that Filter has a song where the chorus goes "Because you are gods, and I am yours" or something like that. I can't find any evidence of a song with lyrics like this, by Filter or otherwise. The song that I'm thinking of isn't one that I like, but I want to know that I'm not crazy. If you have any idea of what song I'm thinking of, please don't keep me waiting as long as McInelly did.
Actually, there's something that has to be done before the time can come...you need to read this post from my old blog to get some background on my missionary companion at that time, Elder McInelly (plus it's a really funny post). Go ahead, I'll wait.
Finished? Great. Ok, here's the story: McInelly and I headed into Glasgow so he could shop for a kilt, because his parents wanted him to get one. He never would've made that decision on his own. Since they weren't there with us to help him choose, he struggled mightily while we were in the store. McInelly was SOOOOOO indecisive. We were there for over two hours (seriously), and he didn't even buy a kilt! He ended up purchasing two semi-expensive blankets, I think mainly because he would've felt guilty being in the store that long without buying anything.
I was bored after about 15 minutes, but luckily at about the 90 minute mark I finally got some entertainment. A group of four Americans, two men and two women, entered the store. (I could tell they were Americans because they spoke very loudly, which allowed me to hear their accents, plus that's what Americans do.) They were in the shop for about 20 minutes, and spent most of that time looking at tacky souvenir items.
The entertainment came when one of the women started looking at kilt belts, and called out to one of the men, "this would look great with your pants." She said it loudly, several times. When Brits say "pants," they are, of course, referring to underwear. The woman should've said "trousers" (actually, I shouldn't assume--maybe the guy likes to accessorize his undies).
I even saw a couple of the store clerks trying to stifle chuckles while this was going on, but they managed to keep a straight face while ringing up their purchases (yes, they completed their shopping before McInelly, even though he had a head start of more than an hour). Probably wise not to insult someone who's about to give you several hundred pounds.
"So are you folks here on vacation?" one of them asked.
"No, we're in a band. Have you ever heard of Filter? We're playing down the street tonight at The Garage."
And that was it. They left the store, and mercifully, we did too a few minutes later. It turns out that story is much more enjoyable to tell (and probably to hear) if I don't give away the ending before I even start. Oh well.
Hey, did you know Filter still tours and stuff? I love the pretentiousness of this description of their most recent album. That's from their official website.
One more thing...I chose to write about this now, because I figured I could relate Filter's song "You Are Gods" to the passages from this week's Sunday School reading on man's status in comparison to God and angels (Hebrews 1-2)...except it seems that song may not exist!
Can anyone help me here? I could have sworn that Filter has a song where the chorus goes "Because you are gods, and I am yours" or something like that. I can't find any evidence of a song with lyrics like this, by Filter or otherwise. The song that I'm thinking of isn't one that I like, but I want to know that I'm not crazy. If you have any idea of what song I'm thinking of, please don't keep me waiting as long as McInelly did.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Rise and shout in pain
Four days later, the drubbing BYU received in the "Holy War" still stings. It was awful. It seemed like the Cougars had never even practiced together before, and by the end of the game seemed to have given up completely. I'd go as far as to say I've never felt as bad at the end of a football game than I did on Saturday.
(This may not hold up; instant reaction, hyperbole, and revisionist history are big parts of being a sports fan. In a few years we'll have to see if this loss stings as much as the two 34-31 games and the ensuing ad campaigns.)
Just as disheartening...I'm worried that I may already be out of good Ross Apo puns. Among those I've already used?
--"That match-up was like comparing Apos to burnt oranges" (after his touchdown catch against Texas)
--"How do you like them Apos?"
--"Need a touchdown? There's an Apo for that."
I'm hoping Josh Quezada returns to his endzone-finding form of 2010 so I can create and sell some bootleg "Apo Juice" merchandise.
Since this year's game is my current worst football memory, I'm going to cheer myself up (and hopefully some of you too) by linking to my favorite football moments that I experienced through a variety of media:
Best Moment I Saw In Person: Big plays by Brandon Doman and Luke Staley resulting in a comeback victory against Utah in 2001. This was especially huge because BYU was still undefeated at that point, though they got drilled in their last two games of the season.
Best Moment I Heard on the Radio: In 2009, I was living with my parents, who are philosophically opposed to paying for TV, so I experienced Andrew George's game-winning TD in overtime only aurally. Still awesome though. Runner-up radio moment: BYU knocking off Miami back in the Ty Detmer days.
Best Moment I Read About in the Newspaper: Back when I served my mission in Scotland, there used to be a free newspaper available on city buses. I think it was called the Metro. (Some quick Googling confirms my memory.) One preparation day, my companion and I rode into Glasgow so he could shop for a kilt. While at the kilt shop, we observed the mediocre rock band Filter inadvertently embarrass themselves (I don't think I've ever blogged that story, but I definitely should).
On the way home, I was looking through the Metro, and on the second-to-last page there was a very short article about Super Bowl XXXIV, which was won in dramatic fashion by St. Louis over Tennessee. After recovering from the shock of how little attention was being given to the biggest American sporting event of the year, and the even bigger shock of the Rams and Titans reaching the Super Bowl, I realized it was former Ute Kevin Dyson who had been tackled just short of the goal line. And it made me happy.
Best Moment I Watched Online: When I moved to New York in 2007, I didn't have TV, but I found a site (which has since been shut down by the Department of Justice) streaming the BYU-Utah game. Watching Austin Collie make magic happen on a small laptop screen is still pretty outstanding.
Best Moment I Watched on Television (and likely my favorite football moment of all time): Harline is STILL open!
I'm happy to report that BYU did not fumble even once while I was writing this post. Things are looking up!
(This may not hold up; instant reaction, hyperbole, and revisionist history are big parts of being a sports fan. In a few years we'll have to see if this loss stings as much as the two 34-31 games and the ensuing ad campaigns.)
Just as disheartening...I'm worried that I may already be out of good Ross Apo puns. Among those I've already used?
--"That match-up was like comparing Apos to burnt oranges" (after his touchdown catch against Texas)
--"How do you like them Apos?"
--"Need a touchdown? There's an Apo for that."
I'm hoping Josh Quezada returns to his endzone-finding form of 2010 so I can create and sell some bootleg "Apo Juice" merchandise.
Since this year's game is my current worst football memory, I'm going to cheer myself up (and hopefully some of you too) by linking to my favorite football moments that I experienced through a variety of media:
Best Moment I Saw In Person: Big plays by Brandon Doman and Luke Staley resulting in a comeback victory against Utah in 2001. This was especially huge because BYU was still undefeated at that point, though they got drilled in their last two games of the season.
Best Moment I Heard on the Radio: In 2009, I was living with my parents, who are philosophically opposed to paying for TV, so I experienced Andrew George's game-winning TD in overtime only aurally. Still awesome though. Runner-up radio moment: BYU knocking off Miami back in the Ty Detmer days.
Best Moment I Read About in the Newspaper: Back when I served my mission in Scotland, there used to be a free newspaper available on city buses. I think it was called the Metro. (Some quick Googling confirms my memory.) One preparation day, my companion and I rode into Glasgow so he could shop for a kilt. While at the kilt shop, we observed the mediocre rock band Filter inadvertently embarrass themselves (I don't think I've ever blogged that story, but I definitely should).
On the way home, I was looking through the Metro, and on the second-to-last page there was a very short article about Super Bowl XXXIV, which was won in dramatic fashion by St. Louis over Tennessee. After recovering from the shock of how little attention was being given to the biggest American sporting event of the year, and the even bigger shock of the Rams and Titans reaching the Super Bowl, I realized it was former Ute Kevin Dyson who had been tackled just short of the goal line. And it made me happy.
Best Moment I Watched Online: When I moved to New York in 2007, I didn't have TV, but I found a site (which has since been shut down by the Department of Justice) streaming the BYU-Utah game. Watching Austin Collie make magic happen on a small laptop screen is still pretty outstanding.
Best Moment I Watched on Television (and likely my favorite football moment of all time): Harline is STILL open!
I'm happy to report that BYU did not fumble even once while I was writing this post. Things are looking up!
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